离校倒计时——(3)

2010年7月2日 | 标签:

离校倒计时——(3)

说句实话,不想写这些东西,都是点家里的琐事。自己觉得有意思,但别人读起来或许无味。但是,还有三篇,写什么呢?只怪当初夸口在最后10天,争取每日一篇。

一个教训就是:今后不要轻许诺言。当然,如果你是个守诺之人。
~~~~~~~~

关于父亲的许多故事,都是听我母亲说的。和他一起生活的那些日子,我还不怎么懂事,似乎从来没有进行过真正意义上的交流,所以可以说父亲基本上对我没什么影响,但感觉我有一种内在的惰性似乎遗传自他,因为母亲非常的勤快,而我有时像他那样总是等事到临头才去做(母亲说的),从而丧失过很多机会。当然,我的声音和这张面孔也具有他的特征,见过他的人都说我俩像极了,而且越来越像。只不过,我比他高,他比我帅。

三岁前,我很少见到他,他在外面的城市教书,是个数学老师。现在家里还保存着几本他的备课笔记,我偶尔翻翻。三岁时,他把我从农村带到城市,现在想起,还有印象。记得在坐轮船到城市的路上,爸爸对我说,今晚,让你看看什么是电灯。是的,三岁前,我不知道什么是电灯,家里一直点的煤油灯。其实,那天晚上看电灯的经过并不顺利,到他住的小屋时,天已黑,他一拉开关,灯闪了一下,就灭了,原来灯丝断了,后来就点蜡烛照明,和原来在家一样。但我也没怎么失望,因为爸爸接着让我看看屋外别人家的电灯,感觉不过如此。

爸爸住在学校的宿舍,白天爸爸上班,把我一个人关在家里,可能是从农村的自由天地突然来到城市,不太适应,只是后来听我姐说,那段时间,我把家里能撕的纸都撕了。但我现在没什么印象,不知道如何度过那个转型期的。父亲爱喝酒、抽烟,尤其是抽烟。那时的烟没有过滤嘴,他是这样一根接一根抽的:一根烟快吸完的时侯,就取出一根新烟,把前面的烟丝扯出一些,再把上一根烟的烟屁股塞进去,继续抽,这样可以最大限度的节省烟丝。50多岁就死了,应该也与无节制的抽烟有关。直到现在我脑海里还有忘不了的一幕,就是,半夜醒来,父亲在昏黄的灯下边抽烟边写着东西,屋里烟雾缭绕,也不管会不会影响我的健康。我眯着眼,看着那烟雾中怎么有条条笔直的光线向四周放散,再动动眼睛,那直线又不见了,很是奇妙,到现在我还不知道为什么。

写到这儿,我突然想起,我很小的时侯就会说谎造假,记得已经上幼儿园了,我特别不想去,有一次发烧,在家赖了好几天,感觉很好。我发现只要发烧就可以不上学了。于是,准备继续赖下去,等父亲快要下班的时侯,就在脸盆和杯子里倒些热水,先含点热水在嘴里,给口腔加点温,好让过下量体温时,口表的温度能高一点;再把手放在热水里泡一会儿,拧个热毛巾敷一下额头,好让爸爸回家摸后觉得我仍在发烧。这点坏心眼也没人教,我咋那么小就会呢。后来把这点趣事讲给我儿子听,你看把他笑的。儿子问:你不怕爷爷觉得你发烧后给你打针吃药啊?我说,不怕,爸爸就怕上学。

父亲偶尔会讲故事给我听,那是父子间难得的温情。无非是一些要节约、要勤奋的老一套。但也会讲一些他儿时的趣事,比如,爸爸小时候上的私塾,经常要被戒尺打手掌,知道那天文章背不出来了,就事先把手在桌子上使劲的搓揉使之麻木以减少挨打时的痛苦;最有意思的是,那时候的私塾,隔三差五,学生就得带点东西孝敬教书先生,学生们恨老师,因为经常挨打,有个头秃的学生经常带锅巴,把锅巴给先生前,先使劲挠头,弄些头皮屑子混在锅巴里,反正看不出来;带胡萝卜的,就把胡萝卜在牛粪里搅和几下,不知道的以为是上面沾的泥巴。有时,他酒喝多了,也会把我拉到跟前胡言乱语,满嘴酒气,我非常讨厌。

但他如何从一个农村的顽童到考上大学,成了村里的第一个大学生,从而改变儿女的命运的?还是后来听妈妈道出原由的。父亲是爷爷的小老婆生的,从小聪颖,与其它兄弟不同的是,他愿意去上学,而我的二伯就扯着门框死活不肯去,所以现在还在务农。当然不仅仅是爸爸爱上学,关键是他在一个特殊的时期遇到一个影响了他一生的女人。当然,不是我妈。他那是才几岁,我妈还没出现。

事情还得从日本侵华说起,鬼子快要打到我们县城,县城中学校长的老婆经人介绍避难在乡下我爷爷家。住在我家时,发现我爸聪灵、可爱,觉得是可教之才,于是不让爸爸去私塾,自己教他读书写字,还觉得爸爸的名字不好听,给爸爸重起了个名字,后来父亲就一直沿用这个名字上学、工作。局势平稳之后,她就把父亲带回县里,住在她家,在她丈夫的学校上学,其实她有5个儿子,个个高大俊朗,不知就如此喜欢我父亲,还收父亲为义子,收我妈为义女,此为后话。

没想到几年后,她家境遇极惨,因为丈夫是国民党员,解放后被迅速处决。她则被安排打扫厕所20多年,直至文革结束。那五个儿子均不得不自己谋生,除了老五因当时年幼,无法自立,被送给一农民收养至今务农外,其余都还有出息。其中大儿子最值得她老人家骄傲,改革开放后作为第一批公派留学生前往当时的西德。每次到我家,总是给我带来一些德国的明信片。因为年纪相仿,老大和我父亲关系最好,如同兄弟,印象中,爸爸总用毛笔给他写信。他回国后在一所外语学院做德语系主任,早已退休。提到这个大儿子,不得不还多说两句,在她家最悲惨的时侯,打扫厕所的妈妈经常给这个在外地上学的老大写信。有一次,大儿子回了封信,让她妈妈不要再写了,省下这8分钱还可以买点米吃,这是她跟我妈说的。写这件事的目的,不是为了谴责大儿子,只是让大家感受一下那个时代的残酷。后来还是靠这个大儿子,借文革后大规模平反冤案之机,多方查找当事人,认定处决其父是错案,最后平了反。因为他父亲在日本侵华时期,秘密组织当地力量参加抗日活动,还帮助援救多名共产党员。

记得我们全家到城市后,每次回乡,她家是必去之地,中午在她家吃顿饭,聊够了后再继续上路。可我却不喜欢这个老太太,感觉凶狠泼辣,每次见她时,压力很大,因为她总是询问我的学习情况,让我背唐诗给她听,还要将她一个孙女给我做老婆。父亲是在她之前去世的,可以想像她得知义子之死时的悲痛,当然,解放后的经历使她承受痛苦的能力非常人所及。她晚年倒也幸福,因为平时嗜玩麻将,最后倒在牌桌上,很快就走了,没怎么遭罪。

父亲是因为咳嗽住的院,当时我还不知道为什么,只觉得家里气氛不对,当然,也没人管我了,我开始不做作业,天天玩。记得有天早上,我缠着妈妈要零花钱,妈妈烦得受不了,恶狠狠的对我说:不要搅了,你爸得癌了。然后就出门走了。当时我一个人在家,傻了一会儿,突然间,我知道我就要失去父亲了。还祈祷了一会儿,也不知向谁祈祷,只是希望能有种力量能救救我的父亲。

当然,发现时已是晚期,无力回天。父亲快要死的时侯我就在身边。他躺在病床上,叹气样的呼吸,没有了意识,临终前的弥留状态。妈妈抓着他的手,不停的说着什么,好像是该诉他,死后要把他安葬在他的出生之地。我心想,他能听见吗?妈妈还要我走近一点,我还有点不敢过去,因为从来没有这么近的面对一个要死的人,害怕。而且,而且我当时觉得他一点儿也不像我的父亲了。没多久就咽了气,我也哭不出来,硬是挤了点眼泪,不像我妈、我姐那么悲伤,我只是希望快点儿结束、快点儿结束。

这么些年过去了,那些痛苦早忘了差不多了。现在,全家人相聚时,偶尔会提起父亲,伴着笑声讲讲他在世时的趣事,哎,子孙满堂,就缺了他一人。从内心讲,我们全家命运的改变,必须感谢爸爸和他的老师。如果有天堂,他能遇到他的恩师就好了。但我不相信有天堂 ^_^

  1. 起子
    2010年7月5日17:28

    沙发一次!

  2. yanhu
    2010年7月5日22:42

    @起子

    你知道为什么占第一个评论为沙发吗?

    http://ks.cn.yahoo.com/question/1307031600211.html

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